Times are tough. Life is tough. It wasn't I don't think we would appreciate the small things that God blesses us with. Today one of my dreams that was in reach just slipped to a higher level but it was my fault all the same. We have to deal with the consequences no matter the reasons that led up to the event. I had my crying time and now I am trying to focus on the blessings that I have. My God is still in control and He will sustain me through this hard time. I will be that which I dream to be. It just might take a little longer.

This summer has taught me a lot about myself. It is funny to look at the woman I was when I graduated from OBU and the woman I am today. I find it incredible the amount of confidence I have in myself and how I will stand up more for myself and what I believe in my heart to be right. I am not afraid to be myself and to be bold in my opinion and I do not shy away from speaking my opinion. I think on the down side I am less trusting with people. There are only a few that I trust and find myself trusting less and less people and that includes my own family. How sad is that right? My mom was right in some regard that I was naive in some sense but my eyes are open and I doubt that I will ever look at the world or some people in the same way as before. I am more cold hearted than I used to be and that is a hard one to face. I love people and learning about them but a lot of encounters that I have had with people have left me not wanting to try to see reason and see the person that Christ would love. That is one thing that I am working hard to overcome.

I have learned there is only two people that you can completely trust wholeheartedly and that is Christ and yourself. I try to live each day as if it were my last and breathe in all the moments that I can to savor them and be thankful that Christ gave me another day to live and to experience and how blessed I am to know Him and that even though to a lot of people I am a hopeless piece of work but to Him I am a continuous work in progress :)