No words can express!

Recently, as posted on my facebook, I saw video posted on YouTube about two girls from Arizona about the passing on the immigration law. It was insane the amount of hate the two girls had towards a group of people. I watched a whole lot of reaction videos from cursing them out to telling the how uneducated they were to telling them karma is going to get them. While I agree with some of these sentiments, I cannot help but feel sorry for these girls. I DO NOT AGREE BY NO MEANS WITH WHAT THEY SAY AND I AM JUST AS HORRIFIED AND UPSET BY THEIR GRUESOME WORDS. But think about what kind of life these girls must lead or what kind of family they must come from to say these harsh words. It is a remind to people of my age what are responsibility is to the children we have or will have and the values we need to instill in them. These girls have ruined many things for themselves now and in the future. That video isn't going to go away and will affect their careers and entrance into college and unfortunately, people are going to harass them and make them feel bad for what they have done and I wonder if they will ever find peace for the harsh words they said. I agree there should be consequences but at what cost will it be to these girls? It is abundantly clear but the words they say that they are definitely not Christians or do not believe in God whatsoever by the harsh words they say at the end of the video so what will this cost them or maybe it will be the turning point they need?

This video needs to be a lesson to us all about the hate that is out there and that changing the hate to love starts with US! Yourself. You have to be the change you want to see in the world and go from there. If you are not willing to change for your cause why would someone else?

Oh darling don't you ever grow up...............

At what point does one become an adult and when do you start acting like one :) Here is my theory......... with every event that you experience with every mountain that you are face with you continually gain experience and knowledge and do the best you can in every situation and thus you learn the good roads and the bad roads and how you can improve next time. Being an adult doesn't mean that you have all your stuff together it means that you lived and you learned and you know how to face a situation head on and take care of the things that need to be taken care of because you have experience and a little confidence in yourself. I have some who say that I am still naive and immature at life and I say you are right. I know there is a lot that I have to learn and experience but at the same time you did too at my age and why pass judgment on adults of my age when you know that everyday is a new experience and a new lesson to learn and we do the best the can with what we got and try to go to bed without regrets and tell ourselves tomorrow is another and new day and we will give the same 150 percent we gave yesterday. I can tell you some adults in their 50s or 60s who are still not adults and what does that mean?? they never learn from the mistakes and keep making them and not trying to better themselves. I think at times that we wish that (like the taylor swift song) we had someone to clean up our messes or even to hold us when the world seems to have turned against us but the bottom line is you live and learn and you keep your head up :) Do the best with you got and keep moving :)

I have arrived :)

When we are young, we dream. Our dreams are filled with the toys we wanted, the vacations we wanted to take, the big sports game we wanted to win, meeting our famous crushes, or winning an award. As we grow up, we dream of the person we want to marry, our dream job, all the millions of dollars we are going to make, the difference we will make in the world, and having kids. Do we honestly ever think we will reach among the stars and actually touch those dreams?

I am now 25 and I am finally at the place where I see them coming true :) I never thought that I would reach this point in my life and see my dreams just maybe in a different light :) We also dream the places we want to go and be but yet we never consider the paths we will take. I finally have my dream job and my college degree wasn't good enough to get me there. It took me an extra two years to get there plus extra education. I never thought I would be a teacher yet I cannot imagine my life complete without teaching! I thought that in college I was going to meet the man of my dreams and fall madly in love and never come back to the small town of El Dorado again. Well how wrong I was again :) I met Sergio Herrera two months after I moved back to El Dorado and here I am three years later and planning our wedding while living in our house in SMACKOVER. But yet I am as happy as can be. My life is finally to the point of where all my dreams intersect but yet they are different dreams. If you told me while I was at OBU that this is how my life would turn out I would have told you that you were crazy !!

It goes to show you that God takes care of those who are his and though we think that we know better, he is the one that only knows for sure the best path to get us to where we need to be. I have arrived and I would not have had it any other way :)

"In my own little corner........."

Have you ever watched the Cinderella movie that the singer Brandy plays in? If you have you know there is one song that she sings called in my own little corner. Yea that is definitely what I am singing today :) I am content with myself and know that I am working hard and growing every day but I still feel that I am a definite disappointment to others. No matter the achievements that I have or all that I have accomplished that doesn't add up to much. In those moments, I am depressed and feel like withdrawing from the world and isolating myself in my own little corner where I can be whatever I want to be and it be okay. Normally I have my mask up and I can pretend what they say doesn't affect me but those words are arrows shot straight at my heart that no one can see but I can feel and eat at me until the point I am broken. I am in so much pain that my mask falls off and I am left vulnerable. I hate feeling vulnerable and weak.

BUT the best part of being weak and vulnerable is that God wakes me up. He shows me that I cannot handle it all on my own and that he bears my yoke with me. Even though I put on my mask and my icy front that isn't enough to sustain me and protect me that I need to give it all to him and stop trying to do it all myself. Even though I may be in my own little corner, God's in my corner and he believes in me and has my back even when the world is against me :)

Do you ever wish your life was different? That someone else's life would be better than living your own? I think that sometimes we all think about that and think someone's life would be better than our own. Whose life would you choose? Would you want to be Angelina Jolie? Would you like to know what it feels like to be loved by a man named Brad Pitt? Would you like to know what it feels like to have the ability to help with world like she does? Would you like the amount of money she has in her pocket and bank account? But what does she kind behind that smile and those eyes? Do you know her worries and her fears? When she as Atlas holds up her world what are the weights it holds for her? Would you like to live that life of a friend or family member? What about a famous singer? Would you want to be Beyonce?? She has a figure that guys kill for and her voice is like the angels in heaven when she sings. She can dance like nobody's business and married to a great rapper. But what does she think about before she goes to bed at night? She lives all her life in the limelight and every second of her life is taped or photographed and she can no longer but out and about in the world and just become a face in the crowd. If you could live someone's life which life would you live?

Me.....that would be a hard one. My life is definitely not perfect but I think no matter who I wished to become I would and always be me just in a different body. I would still think the same and act the same because of the woman I am. No matter what costume I put on I am still Jennifer at the end of the day. I am content with that :) Live life to the fullest and do the best the can with what you got. Be a blessing to others. Can you ask for anything more?

Times are tough. Life is tough. It wasn't I don't think we would appreciate the small things that God blesses us with. Today one of my dreams that was in reach just slipped to a higher level but it was my fault all the same. We have to deal with the consequences no matter the reasons that led up to the event. I had my crying time and now I am trying to focus on the blessings that I have. My God is still in control and He will sustain me through this hard time. I will be that which I dream to be. It just might take a little longer.

This summer has taught me a lot about myself. It is funny to look at the woman I was when I graduated from OBU and the woman I am today. I find it incredible the amount of confidence I have in myself and how I will stand up more for myself and what I believe in my heart to be right. I am not afraid to be myself and to be bold in my opinion and I do not shy away from speaking my opinion. I think on the down side I am less trusting with people. There are only a few that I trust and find myself trusting less and less people and that includes my own family. How sad is that right? My mom was right in some regard that I was naive in some sense but my eyes are open and I doubt that I will ever look at the world or some people in the same way as before. I am more cold hearted than I used to be and that is a hard one to face. I love people and learning about them but a lot of encounters that I have had with people have left me not wanting to try to see reason and see the person that Christ would love. That is one thing that I am working hard to overcome.

I have learned there is only two people that you can completely trust wholeheartedly and that is Christ and yourself. I try to live each day as if it were my last and breathe in all the moments that I can to savor them and be thankful that Christ gave me another day to live and to experience and how blessed I am to know Him and that even though to a lot of people I am a hopeless piece of work but to Him I am a continuous work in progress :)

Please ring please phone ring!!!!!

Monday night they held the school board meeting and normally they approve all the new teachers then and I haven't heard anything from them yet so hopefully that means that I will get a call soon. I am assuming since they haven't sent me a we hate you letter then I might still have a good chance of getting the job. THIS WAITING IS KILLING ME :)